What’s up?

It’s been a good week, in some respects, in others, not so much. On the plus side:

  • Decided to work harder on Red Hat stuff, because I really love that company. A lot. I don’t generally talk about RH on this blog, but I will say that they get it. These are some of the finest examples of human beings you’ve ever met in your life. And even if you don’t believe that, believe that this is not the kind of Microsoft-wannabe you might somehow think it is.
  • I have decided that I feel at home here, and working where I do. I love living in the US so much more than the UK. And the British government can go shove their stupid decline toward a totalitarian regime. I won’t live there again. If I ever leave the US, I’m going to end up someplace else – but not back in that place, not on a permanent basis. It’s a nice place to visit, but it’s otherwise long since gone to pot with utterly broken government. Sure, the US government is fucked up too – everyone’s is – but the UK has some uniquely British fuckedupisms, dating back centuries, never getting fixed.
  • Took up sailing again. Joined the local sailing club, been down a couple times and have membership that allows me to turn up and go most days. There’s a historical irony to being British and sailing on the Charles. More than that, it’s just damned good fun being on the water at times like this – relaxing and a way to take your mind off evil things, like sleeping any more than is absolutely necessary.
  • Restrung my violin and got a practice mute. I’m playing most days now and I’ve bought a finger grip to help strengthen my infamous 4th finger. I am seriously considering getting an electric violin – I’ll keep that under review before I go spending more than a grand, but I am liking the idea. A lot. I’m also liking the idea of taking up the piano, also a lot. And the Cello too. I love listening to the Cello, and a friend is selling one, maybe, but the problem is – again – playing such an instrument in an apartment building without really pissing off the (not particularly bad) neighbors. They make electric ones though, I’m sure. I love to join a local choir too, but I don’t know of any that appeal to my weird tastes really.
  • Bought more jeans. I’ve gone from a size 36 to almost a 32. I guess that’s where I’ll end up, but that’s not so bad. I can wear size medium now, without looking like I’ve shoe-horned myself somehow into my clothing. I’m far from a thin guy, but I’m so much better for being a bit less fat. Well, in some ways at least. I feel ok, physically, at any rate.
  • Bought more books. Got one on sailing techniques and another on music theory. Decided to brush up on my music theory, and read a bit more of these other books that I have – on math, electronics, fiction, whatever. I have more time to read in the evenings and on weekends and I might aswell use it. Certainly beats some of the alternatives. My TV goes on roughly twice a day – mostly for the news at the moment, I need my BBC News fix. I nearly saw a movie last night, nearly, but by the time I walked down to the movie theatre, I decided that I wasn’t really feeling in a “Blades of Glory” mood.
  • Went down to the RMV, determined that they give me a permit this time without any crap. I wasn’t in a mood to be trifled with, and it worked. I gave them no flexibility, was armed with all the relevant documentation, and was fully versed in the law. They tried to fuck me over, but were unable, and in the end had to give me a permit after I passed their trivially stupid test. I have no idea how big an ounce is, but it’s trivial to work out how many ounces of alcohol there are in a 12 ounce American beer (half as many as in a decent beer). They could ask useful, other, multiple choice questions, but whatever (yes, drink driving is wrong – now fucking more on, you weirdly broken broken people. Ask questions to do with driving, tell people drink driving is wrong. Move fucking on). Screw them, anyway. I’ve never seen such unprofessional people in my life than the RMV. I hope I only have to deal with them once more when I get my license.

There are a few negatives, too:

  • I’m in love with someone who’s not in love with me. I’ve never had my heart ripped out quite like this – being told she’s not in love with me, but that I’m great and she doesn’t understand why she’s not in love. At least we were honest and civil about it. And I can’t hate her – I never could. I am actually only capable of feeling love for her. I’m just so cut up about it because I would do anything on this Earth just to make her happy. And even more depressing than that, I found myself saying (and this is true, too) that I care more about her happiness than my own. I’d rather she were happy with someone who wasn’t me. Isn’t that fun? I would do anything to be with her, anything on this Earth, but it’s not enough. On the plus side, I’ve decided not to date again. It’s too painful. I want love, companionship, things like that – not one night stands or short term stuff. I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than have to go through this again.
  • I bought a copy of The Crucifixion and listened to it. I’m not religious – I’m a hardcore atheist – but at times like this, I enjoy that kind of music. I’m looking for some concerts in the Boston metro area, but it’s tougher than getting tickets to a Genesis concert (yes, I have a ticket, too – is that a good or a bad thing?). I’ve got some super depressing music (no, not just the Roxette, it gets much more fun) here, it’s great. I enjoy taking long walks along the Charles, listening to this at full volume.
  • I went to the RMV. I actually got to a point where even they couldn’t annoy me any more, and decided to capitalize on it. They tried their best to annoy me, they tried to screw me over, but I just didn’t care. It was great. See, this is both a good and a bad thing – only thing that makes them better than the DVLA/DSA in the UK is that you don’t need to wait years for a test. You turn up, you take a test, you go. I felt sorry for the Asian dude in line next to me who just wanted an ID, but they fucked him over because he couldn’t express his intentions properly in English. Rather than helping, they simply did that stupid condescending thing with hand gestures and shouting. I had prepared for their terse, surly attitude with one of my own.

Other stuff happened too, I’m sure. I’m just mentioning a few things (who the fuck knows why I write this here?) because – oh, I don’t know – whatever. I’m ok, I’m just wondering where the fuck I went wrong. And not knowing what it is that I did wrong – apparently nothing – is so painful. Until later, have a good weekend (and day off, if you got/get Friday and/or Monday as a quasi-religious holiday).

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